The Puckerman Problem
by Lady Babette
Summary: This is another outtake of sorts for my story Coming Home. I cut this out of the story because I thought it was distracting from the main story, but since then it's been driving me nuts. I just had to share this. This is a scene between Quinn and Mercedes. I most likely rated this too high, but better safe than sorry.


**This is another outtake of sorts for my story Coming Home. I cut this out of the story because I thought it was distracting from the main story, but since then it's been driving me nuts. I just had to share this. **

**The Puckerman Problem**

Quinn paced back and forth across her spacious bedroom. She was happy her mother had received the house in her divorce settlement. She would have hated having to give all this up a second time. It was bad enough her mother had let her father kick her out and forced her to live in substandard accommodations for the better part of last year. At the time she had been very grateful that Mercedes had stepped in and rescued her from the lower middle class hell that was the Puckerman home. The Jones residence may not have been what she was used too, but there was a huge difference between upper middle class and lower.

Mercedes was sitting on her bed right now waiting on her to come up with a solution to the 'Puckerman Problem' as they had christened the situation with Kurt and Puckerman. She was amused at Mercedes naivety on the subject, of course she did have the inside scope on the relationship.

She had obtained her knowledge of Puck's true self the night she had gotten pregnant.

She had learned through experimenting on her mother, that the right dosage of Ambien in the right amount of alcohol would result not only in a person not remembering what they did while drugged, but it also worked like a truth serum. After just two months of working with her parent's Quinn had tons of things to blackmail them with. Mostly names and dates of their numerous affairs, but still threatening to tell the right person tended to get her what she wanted. Well, it had gotten her what she wanted up until the moment her father had found out about the pregnancy.

So on the night that she drugged Puck, she asked many questions of him before she got what she wanted out of him. She had had the perfect plan; drug Puck, screw his brains out, record the act, and use it to break him and Finn apart at just the right time. She had wanted to isolate Finn from Puck, so that she had better control of the quarterback. She knew Puck had a reputation with the housewives of Lima thanks to her mother's use of his 'pool service'.

Her logic in questioning him had been to test if the drug was working before she set the camera up and got down to business. For the most part her plan had been flawless.

Quinn had waited until Puck's mom had left the house and then hid her Cheerios duffle in the Puckerman's back yard. She had worked up a few tears, grabbed the six-pack of wine coolers, and knocked on the front door. Just as she'd expected, Puck answered the door and seeing the state she was in had led her up to his room for privacy. She had sat on his bed and he had sat in his desk chair for the first part of the conversation.

She had complained and cried about Finn ignoring her and spending more time with the football team than her. After a few minutes of that she pulled out two wine coolers and offered him the one of the Ambien filled ones. In no time he was leaned over on the bed completely out of it.

Quinn had moved around the room looking at different things to entertain herself while she let the drugs take effect. She had flipped through their freshman annual, then a scrapbook of pictures, and then she had found a sketch book. She would have never taken Puck for an artist, but the guy was really good. What she saw in the book led to her questions. By the time she had finished interrogating Puck she had found out tons of great blackmail material. The number one thing was the fact that Puck was in love with Kurt Hummel. Puck admitted that even though he could get it up for any female, the only romantic feelings he'd ever had were for Kurt. If it had been any one else Quinn would have found all the ramblings cute. Puck was obsessed with the boy; almost every sketch in his book was of Kurt. She had taken pictures of them all with her cell phone. She still had the hard copies locked in her safe along with the video of that night.

Once Puck was completely under the effects of the drugs and alcohol Quinn went to work. She had run down stairs and retrieved her bag of goodies. She made sure to lock the bedroom door when she returned. Quinn set the camera up and made it look like it was a hidden camera. She wanted to be able to claim Puck had secretly filmed it and was blackmailing her with it. The more devastating the betrayal the more Finn would need her.

Quinn then scattered empty bottles of booze all over his room. She emptied the wine coolers out his window and tossed them around too. When that was accomplished she gotten them both undressed and scattered their clothes around the room too.

It had been surprisingly easy to manipulate Puck into the sex. All she'd had to do was offer him money and he was hard within seconds. He was actually really good at it too. He was still probably the lay best she's ever had and seeing how she had slept with most of the football team at that point was remarkable. He was even better than the few grown men from her Dad's office she had bedded. She often wondered how much better Puck would be sober.

Quinn's plan had been perfect until she found out she was pregnant. She loved to blame Puck for that every chance she got, but it really was her own fault. She had forgotten her box of condoms at home and had figured if Puck hadn't knocked someone up by now, it wasn't going to happen.

That night was when all her bad luck had begun. Quinn had lost Finn and been thrown off the Cheerios. Her parents had thrown her out and then divorced. Her plan with Mrs. Scheuster had fallen through and it had been too late for an abortion. She had planned on selling the baby to another couple, but with all of Puck's interfering and her 'glee family' watching her, she gave up and just let Miss Cochran have the baby. She was just happy that her trip to the spa this summer took care of her stretch marks, well at least the chemical peels did. Thank God for plastic surgeons.

Quinn stopped in front of Mercedes and took a few deep breaths just for the dramatic effect.

"Cedes, we just have to make Kurt see the truth. Puck is a bad boy and is never going to change. There is no way that Puck will give up sleeping around. He's decided that he is bisexual or something, that only gives him more people to cheat on poor Kurt with," she told the diva.

"OMG! You are so right, Puck's slept with most of the girls and now he's starting on the guys. He's starting with our poor Kurt. Puck is going to shatter our boy's heart," Mercedes stated.

Quinn was so glad the other girl was so easy to manipulate. Santana was getting a little hard to control and Quinn hated doing things without a potential fall guy.

"What do we do?" Mercedes asked after a few more minutes.

Quinn resumed her pacing - she thought better while moving. Now she was finally getting things back on track and Puck was going to ruin her plans again. Granted he was Plan C, but she didn't want to lose any of her options at this point. If she was going to be Prom Queen she needed more than one back up plan. Plan A: lovable, goofy, golden boy-Sam. Plan B: lovable, goofy, boy next door-Finn. And Plan C: bad boy reined in by the girl next door (her, not Kurt)-Puck.

She wasn't sure how far up the social ladder she could push Sam, but he was gorgeous and athletic. Those were two traits she could work with. He would be perfect if she could just keep his mouth shut. All the stupid voices he did and nerdy things he talked about was the only thing holding them back from being the perfect couple.

"I have a plan and you're going to play a big part in it," she said.

This would be one of her best plans yet and if anything went wrong the blame would fall on Mercedes.

"I am?" Mercedes asked, now Quinn had the younger girl's attention.

"Of course, both of them trust you. In fact the only way this will work is if you participate," she smiled at Mercedes. "I know just what to do and who to get to help. All you have to do is get Puck to the choir room _alone_ at lunch tomorrow, then wait outside the door for Kurt before you both go in. I'll handle everything else."

"What am I supposed to tell them?"

"Just that you want to talk each of them alone, text them to set it up during first period tomorrow. Tell them both that you want to talk alone and not to tell the other. Tell them you have a few questions before you're ready to face them together. Just make it sound like you're ready to cave and support them. You do that and this will work," Quinn explained.

"This will save Kurt and get him back with us where he belongs," Mercedes didn't sound as if she had much faith in the plan.

Quinn could understand, of course, it's not like she was spilling out all the details. She knew better than to share the real plan with Mercedes, if the girl knew then she wouldn't help. Mercedes would never do anything to intentionally hurt Kurt and this plan was all about hurting Kurt and driving Noah away from the ridiculously pale teen.

Really, Quinn would have left Kurt alone if he hadn't decided to make himself the competition. She had enough to deal with, with the female population of McKinley; she didn't need the little gay boy screwing with her plans too.

"Trust me, Mercedes, all I want to do is help you with Kurt," she smiled sweetly.


End file.
